Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
