i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
