who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
