Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I need to align my fucking chakras
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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