I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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