but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize