You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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