yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And then my night got REAL pukey
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
