I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
