we're blogging at a bar
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
