do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
