just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
