Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
