Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
