Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
