Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm at about main and main street
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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