Soap is not a condiment
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
