hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
