My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
