shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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