Ambien. No doubt about it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
