im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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