I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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