2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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