I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I will pee on everything he values.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
