Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
