billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
