just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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