I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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