she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
