Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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