Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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