I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
porn star boner night. come get it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
