i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
