I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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