jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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