I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
