Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
