Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
