I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
bring money and cleavage
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
