i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think my tv is drunk
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
