lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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