I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize