Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
