through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
