God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
