i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
