I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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