I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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