so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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