so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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