i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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