I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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