like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
