I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
