I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
