I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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