I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize