I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
